每日小笑话（英语连载）

kebon22

好玩！

JaneJian

　　Workman：“Mr.Brown，I should like to ask for a small rise in my wages. I have just been married.”
　　
　　Employer：“Very sorry，my dear man， but I can't help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible.”

JaneJian

　　Does He Bite?
　　
　　Reggie:We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him?
　　
　　Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?
　　
　　Reggie: That's what I want to find out.

JaneJian

　　All Except the Music
　　
　　A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert.
　　
　　To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices.
　　
　　Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"
　　
　　"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."

JaneJian

Who's 50 Cents?

Jacky: I found 50 cents on the sidewalk in front of school.
　　
Tommy: I think it's mine. I ｄｒｏｐped 50 cents there today and couldn't find it.
　　
Jacky: But what I found was two quarters.

Tommy: Then I'm sure it's mine. It probably broke when it hit the sidewalk.

JaneJian

　　The Advantage of Alcohol
　　
　　In order to prove the harmful effect of alcohol,the teacher put a bug into a glass filled with alcohol,soon the bug died.
　　
　　The teacher asked a student,"what does this show?"
　　
　　The student answered,"It shows that people won't get parasites if they drink more alcohol."

JaneJian

　　Who is that woman?
　　
　　The newlyweds entered the elevator of their Miami Beach hotel.
　　
　　The operator, a magnificent blonde, looked at them in surprise and said, "Why, hello, Teddy, how are you?"
　　
　　When the couple reached their room, the piqued bride demanded: "Who was that woman?!"
　　
　　"Take it easy, honey," said the groom, "I'm going to have trouble enough explaining you to her."

JaneJian

　　It's Always Me.
　　
　　A father said to his sons: "Tomorrow your mother is going to bake a pie.Who is going to eat it?"
　　
　　The oldest son replied: "Father, I'll eat it all!"
　　
　　The father then said: "Tomorrow I'm going to butcher a pig. Who is going to eat it?"
　　
　　The same son answered: "Father,I'll eat it all!"
　　
　　The father added: "Tomorrow, we are going to plough the field. Who is going to plough?"
　　
　　The oldest son answered again: "It's always me, always me. Now it's someone else's turn to volunteer!"

JaneJian

　　Asking a question
　　
　　During the computer class, the teacher chastised one boy for talking to the girl sitting behind him.
　　
　　"I was just asking her a question, " the boy said.
　　
　　"If you have a question, ask me," the teacher replied.
　　
　　"OK," the boy answered. "Do you want to go out with me Friday night?"

JaneJian

　　Three Surgeons
　　
　　Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist."
　　
　　"That's nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner."
　　
　　"I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse's posterior - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate."