每日小笑话（英语连载）

JaneJian

　　Joke of Today
　　
　　lecture
　　
　　On a snowstorm day, a college professor drove 75 kilos to teach only to find one audience in the classroom.
　　
　　Then, when he finished lecturing and was ready to leave, the person that has been sitting in the audience seat stopped him:"Don't go! I'm the next lecturer scheduled for this room."

JaneJian

　　Joke of Today
　　
　　Who killed Abraham Lincoln?
　　
　　"Who killed Abraham Lincoln*?" the teacher asked her seventh-graders.
　　
　　Everyone but John raised a hand to answer. " Do you know, John?" she asked.
　　
　　" I don't know and I don't care!" the boy yelled, arms crossed. "Stop asking questions."
　　
　　Upset, the teacher kept John after class and called his father for a conference.
　　
　　"What's the problem?" John's dad asked when he arrived. "Why is my son in detention?"
　　
　　"I asked John who killed Abe Lincoln and he cursed and said he didn't know and didn't care, and told me to stop asking him questions."
　　
　　Furious, the man grabbed John by the collar. "What's your problem, son?" he shouted. "If you killed the man, just say so."
　　

JaneJian

　　Joke of Today
　　
　　Why Is He Howling
　　
　　Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth yet.
　　
　　Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!

JaneJian

　　Joke of Today
　　
　　Are you a normal person？
　　
　　During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director ...,"What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?"
　　
　　"Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."
　　
　　"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."
　　
　　"Noooooooo!" answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

管理员9

我也转来转一个：
　　
　　How to do it?
　　
　　A schoolgirl was sitting with her feet stretched far out into the aisle,and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her.
　　
　　"Kate!" called the teacher sharply.
　　
　　"Yes, sir?" questioned the girl.
　　
　　"Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!"

[此贴子已经被作者于2009-8-14 10:07:11编辑过]

啊黄

我也来转一个：
　　How to do it?
　　
　　A schoolgirl was sitting with her feet stretched far out into the aisle,and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her.
　　
　　"Kate!" called the teacher sharply.
　　
　　"Yes, sir?" questioned the girl.
　　
　　"Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!"
　　

JaneJian

　　How to get a seat by the fire.
　　
　　Mr. Brown came to an inn on a very cold day, and could get no room near the fire.
　　
　　He called to the hostler to fetch a peck of oysters, and give them to his horse.
　　
　　"Will your horse eat oysters?" said the hostler.
　　
　　"Try him, " said Mr. Brown.
　　
　　Immediately the people ran to see this wonder, and Mr. Brown who alone remained in the room, chose the best seat by the fire and made himself comfortable.

JaneJian

　　Joke of Today
　　
　　I want to know you.
　　
　　Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
　　
　　Woman: "It's in the phone book."
　　
　　Man: "But I don't know your name."
　　
　　Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

JaneJian

　　How to get a seat by the fire.
　　
　　Mr. Brown came to an inn on a very cold day, and could get no room near the fire.
　　
　　He called to the hostler to fetch a peck of oysters, and give them to his horse.
　　
　　"Will your horse eat oysters?" said the hostler.
　　
　　"Try him, " said Mr. Brown.
　　
　　Immediately the people ran to see this wonder, and Mr. Brown who alone remained in the room, chose the best seat by the fire and made himself comfortable.

JaneJian

　　Waste or Save?
　　
　　Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting time?
　　
　　Jack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven" I?