<font face="Verdana"> Joke of Today<br/> <br/> lecture<br/> <br/> On a snowstorm day, a college professor drove 75 kilos to teach only to find one audience in the classroom.<br/> <br/> Then, when he finished lecturing and was ready to leave, the person that has been sitting in the audience seat stopped him:"Don't go! I'm the next lecturer scheduled for this room."</font>
<font face="Verdana"> Joke of Today<br/> <br/> Who killed Abraham Lincoln?<br/> <br/> "Who killed Abraham Lincoln*?" the teacher asked her seventh-graders.<br/> <br/> Everyone but John raised a hand to answer. " Do you know, John?" she asked.<br/> <br/> " I don't know and I don't care!" the boy yelled, arms crossed. "Stop asking questions."<br/> <br/> Upset, the teacher kept John after class and called his father for a conference.<br/> <br/> "What's the problem?" John's dad asked when he arrived. "Why is my son in detention?"<br/> <br/> "I asked John who killed Abe Lincoln and he cursed and said he didn't know and didn't care, and told me to stop asking him questions."<br/> <br/> Furious, the man grabbed John by the collar. "What's your problem, son?" he shouted. "If you killed the man, just say so."<br/> </font>
<font face="Verdana"> Joke of Today<br/> <br/> Why Is He Howling<br/> <br/> Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth yet.<br/> <br/> Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!</font>
<font face="Verdana"> Joke of Today<br/> <br/> Are you a normal person？<br/> <br/> During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director ...,"What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?"<br/> <br/> "Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."<br/> <br/> "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."<br/> <br/> "Noooooooo!" answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."</font>
<font face="Verdana">我也转来转一个：<br/> <br/> How to do it?<br/> <br/> A schoolgirl was sitting with her feet stretched far out into the aisle,and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her.<br/> <br/> "Kate!" called the teacher sharply.<br/> <br/> "Yes, sir?" questioned the girl.<br/> <br/> "Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!"</font>
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-8-14 10:07:11编辑过]
<p>我也来转一个：<font face="Verdana"><br/> How to do it?<br/> <br/> A schoolgirl was sitting with her feet stretched far out into the aisle,and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her.<br/> <br/> "Kate!" called the teacher sharply.<br/> <br/> "Yes, sir?" questioned the girl.<br/> <br/> "Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!"<br/> </font></p>
<font face="Verdana"> How to get a seat by the fire.<br/> <br/> Mr. Brown came to an inn on a very cold day, and could get no room near the fire.<br/> <br/> He called to the hostler to fetch a peck of oysters, and give them to his horse.<br/> <br/> "Will your horse eat oysters?" said the hostler.<br/> <br/> "Try him, " said Mr. Brown.<br/> <br/> Immediately the people ran to see this wonder, and Mr. Brown who alone remained in the room, chose the best seat by the fire and made himself comfortable.</font>
<font face="Verdana"> Joke of Today<br/> <br/> I want to know you.<br/> <br/> Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"<br/> <br/> Woman: "It's in the phone book."<br/> <br/> Man: "But I don't know your name."<br/> <br/> Woman: "That's in the phone book too."</font>
<font face="Verdana"> How to get a seat by the fire.<br/> <br/> Mr. Brown came to an inn on a very cold day, and could get no room near the fire.<br/> <br/> He called to the hostler to fetch a peck of oysters, and give them to his horse.<br/> <br/> "Will your horse eat oysters?" said the hostler.<br/> <br/> "Try him, " said Mr. Brown.<br/> <br/> Immediately the people ran to see this wonder, and Mr. Brown who alone remained in the room, chose the best seat by the fire and made himself comfortable.</font>
<font face="Verdana"> Waste or Save?<br/> <br/> Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting time?<br/> <br/> Jack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven" I?</font>