[转帖]外贸英语汉译英赏析

zhudijing

(1)我们希望指出,这里市场竞争激烈,要想成功地销售出去,你方报价须具有吸引力,否则将有困难.
共有五个分句,各自语法地位大不相同.汉语是一种流水句,分句间可以由逗号相连;但英语讲究形式上的相互照应,不同语法功能的从句必须反映在句型和关联词上.这是汉译英中比较重大的一条.也就是说,汉语可以用四个逗号隔出五个分句,但英语不可以,而是要用关联词,从字面形式上体现出其内在关系.

例如, 可以认为, " 指出"的原因在于"竞争",当然也可以表现为"竞争"的逻辑结论是"指出",这样这个句子至少有两种英译形式.
1)We would like to point out that because of the harsh / fierce competition in our market your quotation must be attractive to the buyers at our end before we could sell successfully your products here.
2) Fierce competition in the local market here means that, it seems obvious to us, it would be difficult for us to promote successfully the sale of your products if your quotation is not attractive to our end-users here.
如果五个句子综合考虑,可以变换角度译为:
We would like to point out that your quotation has to be attractive to the buyers here, otherwise it would be difficult for us to sell your products in this competitive market.
市场竞争激烈: fierce / harsh / competitive market

2)如果你方的价格做得开的话,我们相信能成大生意.
像"价格做得开"和"能成大生意",这类熟语,与别的信函中可能出现的专业性比较强的术语一样,在商务英语中都可以做适当的淡化处理. 也就是说,无论汉语原文是专业色彩较浓的,还是相对口语化的,用于信函往来的译文都可以使用一般化的句型和词汇,只要说清楚事情就行,不必追求风格上的一致.
a.If your prices are in line, we trust important business can materialize.
b,If your prices are attractive, we believe we can make big business.
英文站点:Financing Local Roads Construction:Small Markets Make Big Business.
U.S. Firms Make Big Business With Iraq.

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56528024

拜读了,很不错,谢谢啦!!

cathy01

good!i will study it.