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214 The One Withthe Prom Video [Scene: Chandler and Joey'sapartment. Chandler is playing foosball by himself, Joey enters]
JOEY: Hey.
CHANDLER: Hey. Hold on a second.[shoots a goal] Huh?
JOEY: Nice, nice. Hey I gotsomethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.
CHANDLER: What's this?
JOEY: Eight hundred and twelvebucks.
CHANDLER: Well, I don't know whatBig Leon told ya but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night.What is this for?
JOEY: Well, I'm makin money now andthis is payin' you back for head shots, electric bills, and so many slices ofpizza I can't even count. I love ya man.
CHANDLER: Well, thanks man. Now Ican get my pony.
JOEY: Hey, this is a little extrasomethin' for uh, ya know, always bein' there for me. [hands Chandler a jewelrybox]
CHANDLER: Wow, I don't know what tosay. [opens the box and pulls out an incredibly gaudy gold bracelet] Wow, I, Idon't know what to say.
JOEY: Heh, what d'ya say?
CHANDLER: I don't know. It's abracelet.
JOEY: Isn't it? And it's engravedtoo, check it out.
CHANDLER: [reads] To my best bud.[puts it back in the case] Thanks best bud.
JOEY: Put it on.
CHANDLER: Oh, now? [puts it in hisdesk drawer] No, no, I think something this nice should be saved for a specialoccasion. [sets a chair in front of the drawer]
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beautypart, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put thison, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are sowearin' that bracelet.
CHANDLER: I so am.
JOEY: You have any idea what this'lldo for your sex life?
CHANDLER: Well, it'll probably slowit down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back ontrack.
OPENING TITLES
[Scene: A kitchen somewhere. Monica is interviewing for a job]
INTERVIEWER: Well, this all looks good.
MONICA: Great.
INTERVIEWER: And if I want to call for a reference on your last job?
MONICA: Oh, that's there on thebottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing.
INTERVIEWER: Alright, lets see if you're as good in person as you are on paper.Make me a salad.
MONICA: A salad? Really I, I coulddo something a little more complicated if you like.
INTERVIEWER: No, just a salad will be fine.
MONICA: You got it.
INTERVIEWER: Now, I want you to tell me what you're doing while you're doingit.
MONICA: Alright, well I'm tearingthe lettuce.
INTERVIEWER: Uh-huh. Is it dirty?
MONICA: Oh-oh, no no don't worry,I'm gonna wash it.
INTERVIEWER: Don't, I like it dirty.
MONICA: That's your call.
INTERVIEWER: So, uh, what are you going to do next?
MONICA: Well, I thought that I wouldcut up the tomatos.
INTERVIEWER: Are they, uh, firm?
MONICA: They'r alright.
INTERVIEWER: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, verybad?
MONICA: No really, they're OK.
INTERVIEWER: You gonna slice them up real nice?
MONICA: Actually, I was gonna dothem jullienne.
INTERVIEWER: Aaaahhhhhhh.
MONICA: I'm outa here. [Monicaleaves]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting atthe couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not hereright now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it likeat the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, thisCasey?
PHOEBE: Oh, some guy she met at themovies.
ROSS: Oh really? What uh, what doeshe want with her?
CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing hewants to do a little dance. . . ya know, make a little love. . . well prettymuch get down tonight.
ROSS: [puts the message in thecupboard] I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two monthsago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messagesfrom guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should betakin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and,and we should get some kind of me, message service.
PHOEBE: Hang in there, it's gonnahappen.
ROSS: Wha, OK, now how do you knowthat?
PHOEBE: Because she's your lobster.
CHANDLER: Oh, she's goin' somewhere.
PHOEBE: C'mon you guys. It's a knownfact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you canactually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, ya know, holdingclaws like. . .
[Monica enters from bathroom after taking a shower]
CHANDLER: Hey, you feelin' better?
MONICA: Yeah, I think that fifthshower actually got the interview off me.
PHOEBE: So, do you have any otherpossibilities?
MONICA: Oh yeah, well there's thepossibility that I won't make rent.
ROSS: Monica, if you want, I canlend you some money.
MONICA: No no no, if I couldn't payyou back right away then I'd feel guilty and tense every time I saw you.
ROSS: Oh OK. Well then why don'tyou, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tensearound them already. You might as well make some money off of them.
CHANDLER: Ya know, the man's got apoint. [gestures with his arm and the bracelet falls off]
PHOEBE: What is that sparkly thing?
CHANDLER: That thing, it's a uhh. .. yeah it's, it's a little flashy.
ROSS: No no, no no, it's not flashy,not for a Goodfella.
MONICA: Man, man that is sharp. Itmust have cost you quite a few debloons.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica answers the door and lets herparents in. They are carrying boxes.]
MONICA: Hi.
MR. GELLER: Hi.
MRS. GELLER: Hi darling.
MONICA: So, what's this.
MR. GELLER: Some of your old stuff.
MRS. GELLER: Well sweetie, we have a surprise for you. We're turning your roominto a gym.
MONICA: Wow, that is a surprise.Just one little question, uh, why not Ross's room?
MR. GELLER: Gosh, we talked about that but your brother has so many sciencetrophies and plaques and merit badges, well we didn't want to disturb them.
MONICA: Oh, God forbid.
[Rachel enters with a laundry basket]
MRS. GELLER: Oh, hi Rachel.
RACHEL: Hi.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, we were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up,dear.
RACHEL: Oh, well, you know, they'rejust separated so, you know, never know, we'll see.
MR. GELLER: Well, I can't say any of us were surprised. Your parents have beenunhappy ever since we've known them. Especially after that incident in Hawaii.
RACHEL: What, what incident?
MR. GELLER: Uhh, naa, no no no, I, I must be thinking of someone else, uh,maybe me. Don't you have some folding to do? Go fold dear. Fold. You fold.[shuffles her into her room]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. Abeautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
PHOEBE: Do you want a refill?
CHANDLER: No, I'm alright, thanks.
PHOEBE: OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta giveme a second, I wanna get this just right. [she sticks out her gut, clears herthroat and sniffs her nose and then in her best male voice. . .] Dude, 11o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'mready for my penis now.
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman]I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
GAIL: I'm Gail.
CHANDLER: Chandler. [waves his armaround, exposing the bracelet]
GAIL: I, I really have to be somewhere but it was nice meeting you.
CHANDLER: What? [realizes it was thebracelet] Oh this is excellent. You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he couldagotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller, theeyesore from the Liberace house of crap.
PHOEBE: It's not that bad.
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you tosay, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. Tcollection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
PHOEBE: Chandler, Chandler.
CHANDLER: I pity the fool who putson my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and seesJoey] Hi. Hey man, we were just doin' some uhh, impressions over here. Do yourMarcel Marceau. [Joey turns around and walks out without saying anything]That's actually good.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross andPhoebe are sitting at the couches.]
ROSS: Would you look at that guy, Imean how long has he been talking to her. It's like, back off buddy she's awaitress not a geisha.
PHOEBE: I think she's OK.
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a handon the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing himaway and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in themiddle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
RACHEL: What?
ROSS: I'm Ross Geller. Wha, I'm, Godin your add you said you were pretty but wow.
RACHEL: What are you, what are youdoin'?
ROSS: Oh, oh my God, is this thewrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll,we'll have something to tell the grandkids.
MAN: Sure will. I've uh, gotta go. Take care.
ROSS: OK, see ya later, nice meetingyou. [man leaves] You're welcome.
RACHEL: What?
ROSS: I was saving you.
RACHEL: Saving, saving, saving mefrom the pleasant conversation with the interesting man, saving me?
ROSS: Oh, see from where I wassitting I uh. . .
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I amnot yours to save.
ROSS: But, you are.
RACHEL: What?
ROSS: Uh, uh, well you're, umm,you're my lobster.
RACHEL: OK, you know what, are, areyou being like, the blind date guy again?
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're mylobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, theyget with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with,with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the wholelobster thing?
PHOEBE: Do the claws again.
ROSS: Rach. OK, forget, forget thelobsters OK. We're, let's talk, what about us?
RACHEL: Ross, there is no us, OK.
ROSS: No, but. . .
RACHEL: No, listen to me. I fell foryou and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, getclobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it.
ROSS: Well, but, but. . .
RACHEL: NO but Ross. We are nevergonna happen, OK. Accept that.
ROSS: E-except, except that what?
RACHEL: No, no, ACC-cept that.
ROSS: Oh.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is there. Joey enters.]
CHANDLER: Hey man, look it's my bestbud. How ya doin? [Joey doesn't respond] Wow, you are really gettin' good atthat Marcel Marceau thing. Hey, whaddya say uh, we play some ball, you and me,huh, whaddya say? [Throws a basketball to Joey. Joey doesn't move to catch itand the ball takes out a lamp] OK, that's my bad.
JOEY: If you hated the bracelet somuch, Chandler, you should have just said so.
CHANDLER: Well, doesn't the factthat I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about ourfriendship and how much it means to me?
JOEY: Well, what about the fact thatyou insulted the bracelet and you made fun of me?
CHANDLER: OK, well that's the partwhere I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. [Joey goes to hisroom and shuts the door] Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundredtimes, I promise I will never take it off my. . . [notices the bracelet is missingfrom his wrist] wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, youknow, you just uh, you stay in there. [he starts searching the room, lifting upthe couch cushions]
JOEY: You know what the. . . [seesChandler on his knees, holding the couch cushions]
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees,holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much likethey did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returnsto his room]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watchingtennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
MR. GELLER: You know, that Steffi Graf has quite a tush. I'm just saying, it'sright there.
ROSS: Hey guys.
MRS. GELLER: Hi, darling. Where's my grandson, you didn't bring him?
ROSS: No, he's at uh, Carol's andSusan's today.
MR. GELLER: A woman in my office is a lesiban. I'm just saying.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks youup. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
MONICA: Where have you been?
ROSS: Emotional hell. So, did theylend you the money yet?
MONICA: No, but that's probably'cause I haven't asked them yet.
ROSS: C'mon Monica, do it. Hey, youguys, um, Monica has some news.
MONICA: Um, yeah, so uh, uhh,listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before but umm, I, I'm no longer at myjob, I, I had to leave it.
MRS. GELLER: Why?
MONICA: Because they made me.
MRS. GELLER: You were fired? What're you gonna do?
MR. GELLER: Judy, Judy, relax, this is our little harmonica we're talkingabout. We taught her well. Ten percent of your paycheck, where does it go?
MONICA and ROSS: In the bank.
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's therefor. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where tofind it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]
MONICA: Anything larger back there?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe enter.]
CHANDLER: I can't believe it.
PHOEBE: Would you stop already? Getout of the bitter barn and play in the hay.
CHANDLER: Oh, you're right I, Ishould play in the hay. Forget about the fact that I just dropped 400 dollarsto replace a bracelet that I hated to begin with. Bring on the hay. [sits downat the bar]
RACHEL: [comes up from behind thebar and startles Chandler] Hey. I've got something that's gonna make you happy.Guess what Gunther found? [holds up Chandler's bracelet]
PHOEBE: Hey now you have two.[Chandler looks annoyed] Oh, now you have two.
CHANDLER: What am I gonna do, huh?[Joey walks in behind him]
JOEY: Hey.
CHANDLER: Hey.
JOEY: How come you have two?
CHANDLER: Well this one's for you.
JOEY: Get out.
CHANDLER: No, I can't. No no,listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is aboutmore than just jewelry, [puts bracelet on Joey] it's about you and me and thefact that we're [reading bracelet] best buds.
JOEY: Wow, is this friendship? Ithink so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies.
CHANDLER: That's what they'll call us.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Ross are standing in thekitchen. Ross is filling out a check]
ROSS: Here you go, you can pay meback whenever you like.
MONICA: You have dinosaur checks?
ROSS: Yeah, yeah I mean, you getyour money and you learn a little something, what's wrong with that?
MONICA: Nothin', nothin', hey you'rea cheapasaurus. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, thank you, I'm very greatful.
PHOEBE: [Standing in living roomwith Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon,what is this?
MONICA: Oh, um, that was my bathingsuit from high school. I was uh, a little bigger then.
CHANDLER: Oh, I thought that's whatthey used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
JOEY: [pulls out a VCR tape] HeyMonica, what's on this video tape?
MONICA: Hey, you got me, put it in.
ROSS: [Rachel enters] Oh.
RACHEL: Hi.
ROSS: Hi.
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Ohdoesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
RACHEL: Oh my God.
JOEY: What is with your nose?
RACHEL: They had to reduce itbecause of, of my deviated septum.
CHANDLER: OK, I was wrong, that'swhat they used to cover Connecticut.
MONICA: You know what this is, thisis us getting ready for the prom.
RACHEL: Oh.
ROSS: You know what, you guys, wedon't have to watch this.
ALL: Oh yeah we do. C'mon.
MRS. GELLER: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
MONICA: Over here dad. [he pans over and we see a torso taking up the wholescreen]
MR, GELLER: Wait, how do you zoom out? [zooms out and we see an extremelyoverweight Monica eating a big sandwich] There she is.
JOEY: Some girl ate Monica.
MONICA: Shut up, the camera adds tenpounds.
CHANDLER: Ahh, so how many camerasare actually on you?
MONICA: Oh, you look so great.
RACHEL: Ahh, so do you, beautiful. [they hug]
MONICA: Oops.
RACHEL: What?
MONICA: Shoot, I think I got mayonaise on you.
RACHEL: Oh, that's OK, it's just the shoulder, it's not my dress.
MR. GELLER: Everybody smile.
MONICA: Oh, dad, turn it off.
MR. GELLER: It is off.
MONICA: Dad, it is not. What's with the red light?
MR. GELLER: It's the off light. Right Ross? [pans over to see Ross with an afroand moustache]
JOEY: Lookin' good Mr. Cotter.
ROSS: You look pretty tonight.
RACHEL: Oh, thanks. So, uh, what are you gonna do this summer?
ROSS: Oh, you know, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna hang out, work on my music.
RACHEL: [the shoulders of her dress keep falling off her shoulders] Is my hookunhooked? These things keep falling down, I can't. . .
ROSS: Uh, hold, let me see, I don't know. So what're you gonna do. . .[doorbell rings]
RACHEL: Oh, the guys are here.
ROSS: this summer?
CHANDLER: Work on your music?
[Ross is sitting on the stairs with a laptop keyboard playing 'Axel-F']
RACHEL: Oh my God, look there's RoyGublik.
MONICA: Ya know, Roy saw Star Wars317 times. His name was in the paper.
RACHEL: Where's Chip, why isn't he here yet?
ROY: He'll be here OK, take a chill pill. [Chip pins Monica's corsage on, Monicathen turns and whispers to Rachel]
MONICA: I just told Rachel that Roytouched my boob.
RACHEL: I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late.
MONICA: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
ROY: Oh, I'm gonna kick Chip's ass.
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should takeRachel to the prom.
ROSS: Doubtful.
MRS. GELLER: Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
MR. GELLER: Your mother's right. Take her, you can wear my tux.
ROSS: Dad, she won't want to go with me.
MR. GELLER: Of course she would, you're a college man.
ROSS: I don't know.
MR. GELLER: Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out?
RACHEL: I can't believe I don't get to go to my own prom, this is so harsh.
ROSS: OK. Hold my board.
MR. GELLER: Atta boy. [Ross scrambles upstairs to change]
ROSS: OK, you guys, ya know, I thinkwe've seen enough, let's turn it off.
ALL: No, no, no.
ROSS: OK, fine, well I'm not gonnawatch, alright.
MR. GELLER: C'mon kid, let's go.
MRS. GELLER: Ahh, are you hadsome.
MR. GELLER: Let's show 'em.
ROSS: Uh, just a sec dad. [to himself] OK, be cool, just be cool. [walks downthe stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable] OK dad.
MR. GELLER: [going downstairs] Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight inshining. . . oh no. [Chip has shown up and the four are leaving]
RACHEL, MONICA, ROY, and CHIP: Bye.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?
MR. GELLER: Press the button.
MRS. GELLER: Which one? Which button, Jack.
MR. GELLER: The button, the button.
MONICA: I can't believe you didthat.
ROSS: Yeah, well.
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kissesRoss]
PHOEBE: See, he's her lobster.
CLOSING CREDITS
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is watching the rest of thetape]
MRS. GELLER: Dance with him.
MONICA: Mom, I'm hungry.
MRS. GELLER: Dance with your father.
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on thedance floor.
MONICA: Alright.
[the tape cuts to Monica's parents under the covers]
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack.
MR. GELLER: Oh, Judy. Oh, Judy.
BOTH: Oh, ohhhhh.
[Monica is visibly upset] END |
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