[转帖]美眉我们网恋吧——很搞笑的英语文章

yx539707

After the self-study class at night, I opened the computer. I sorted out the male net friends to the Frog Concentration Camp and several unlovely girls I’ve seen to the Dinosaur Concentration Camp. Then I began chatting with the three girls left.

Me: Honey, let’s fall in love!
Talented girl: OK. Are you a Party member?
Me: No, I’m not.
Talented girl: Are you a League member?
Me: Well, no.
Talented girl: Well, are you a member of China Young Pioneers?
Me: I used to be one many years ago. But why do you bother asking such questions?
Talented girl: Then I can’t promise you. At all events, I’m the team leader of our class.
…
Recalling the painful experience, I still have two girls to chat with.
Me: Girl, let’s fall in love!
Lonely girl: Good. After all, I can fall in love.
Me: Well, didn’t you love someone before?
Lonely girl: No. They always said I was a dinosaur.
Me: Umm, in this case, we’d better break up at the moment.
Lonely girl: No, I don’t agree. It’s my first  love…

yx539707

55555555555…
Now the last girl left, I would especially cherish her.
Me: Girl, don’t you want to fall in love with me?
Jiaojiao: I think it’s OK, but I’d like to ask for my father’s advice.
Me: My God! You asked your father this kind of thing? You surely don’t have your own definite idea!
Jiaojiao: It’s not like that. I am just 5 years old and haven’t learnt to type. It is my father who types for me.
Me: …
Then I said: Hello, uncle.

yx539707

晚自习归来，我打开电脑，把男网友全部归到青蛙集中营里，把几个见过不漂亮的女网友归到恐龙集中营。剩下的三个美眉还要再聊聊。
我说：美眉我们网恋吧！
小才女说：好呀。你是党员吗？
我说：不是。
小才女说：那你是团员吗？
我说：不是。
小才女说：那你是少先队员吗？
我说：很多年以前就不是了，你问这些做什么？
小才女说：那可不行，我可是我们班的小组长呢。
我无语。
痛定思痛，还有两个MM可以聊。
我说：美眉我们网恋吧！
小孤女说：好呀，终于恋爱了。
我说：怎么，以前没有恋爱过吗？
小孤女说：没有，他们总说我是恐龙。
我说：哦，这样，那我们分手，就现在。
小孤女说：不，我不同意，这是我的初恋， 

55555555555……
还剩最后一个美眉，我倍加珍惜。
我说：美眉，我们网恋吧！
娇娇：好呀，不过我要问问我爸爸。
我说：天哪，这事你问你爸爸？你自己那么没主见呀?！
娇娇：不是呀，我今年才5岁，还不会打字，刚才是我爸爸替我打字啊。
我说：……