二5 快乐加减密码领航员
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-LEFT: 153pt; TEXT-INDENT: -54pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 153.0pt"><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体" XML:LANG="EN-US"><SPAN style="mso-list: Ignore">第五节<SPAN style="FONT: 7pt ''"> <WBR> <WBR></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></B> <B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">加减密码领航员</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt" XML:LANG="EN-US"> </SPAN></B></P><P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-INDENT: 30.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">凡是我们认为应该感恩的，快乐就会增加，凡是我们认为理所当然的，快乐就会减少。</SPAN></B></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-INDENT: 30.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">我们无法把握我们生命的长度，但是我们可能把握生命的宽度</SPAN></B></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-INDENT: 30.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">有问题是好事</SPAN></B> <B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">问题是用来扩大能力的</SPAN></B> <B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">证明着你还活着</SPAN></B> <B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">去太平间看看</SPAN></B> <B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">他们都没有任何问题了。</SPAN></B></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-INDENT: 29.25pt"><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">我们生来都有残疾，区别在于我的残疾你看得到，但是你的残疾在哪里？如果你认为自己很成功，永远有人比你更成功；如果你认为自己很不幸，永远有人比你更不幸。</SPAN></B></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-INDENT: 29.8pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.98"><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">你的人生价值百万</SPAN></B></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-INDENT: 28.5pt"><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">人生有两种角色—负责任者和受害者</SPAN></B></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-INDENT: 30.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">人之所以行动只有两点原因</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt" XML:LANG="EN-US">-</SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">追求快乐和逃避痛苦</SPAN></B></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-INDENT: 28.5pt"><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">效果大于道理。</SPAN></B></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-INDENT: 30.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">你对了又怎么样</SPAN></B> <B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">？你失去了时间</SPAN></B> <B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">快乐，除了收获一大推的抱怨痛苦发牢骚指责都是别人的错外，什么都没有</SPAN></B></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-INDENT: 30.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt" XML:LANG="EN-US"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> <WBR></SPAN></SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">生活曾经给过我们一次伤害，我们却无数次伤害自己，也伤害着身边那些真正在乎我们的人</SPAN></B></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-INDENT: 30.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">你选择哪种角色没有对，也没有错，因为这是你的选择，因为人生就是一种选择</SPAN></B></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-INDENT: 30.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt" XML:LANG="EN-US"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> <WBR></SPAN></SPAN></B><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">学会运用正常与福气</SPAN></B></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 华文行楷" XML:LANG="EN-US"> <WBR></SPAN></B></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 华文行楷" XML:LANG="EN-US"></SPAN></B></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-INDENT: 136.55pt; mso-char-indent-count: 8.5"><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">第六节</SPAN></B> <B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">快乐咖啡厅</SPAN></B></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">欢迎再次做客快乐咖啡厅，厅里展示的是《爆笑口误》卡布基诺。</SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt" XML:LANG="EN-US"> <WBR></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt" XML:LANG="EN-US">1</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">同事问我：克林顿的老婆是希拉克吗</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt" XML:LANG="EN-US">?</SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt" XML:LANG="EN-US">2</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">有一次我向人借钱，本来想说的是”等我取了钱就还你”，说成”等我有了钱就取你”汗！</SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt" XML:LANG="EN-US">3</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">同学叫于京波，一日来信，宿舍门卫在宿舍门口大叫：干凉皮、干凉皮的信！</SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt" XML:LANG="EN-US">4</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">我们语文老师：请大家把书翻到</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt" XML:LANG="EN-US">120</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">块钱。</SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-INDENT: 7pt; mso-char-indent-count: .5"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">全班皆晕，后这位老师得绰号”财迷”呵呵。</SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt" XML:LANG="EN-US">5</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">有一次朋友在家看碟，光盘质量不好。朋友说到：“怎么这么多马克思啊。”半晌后才明白他是说马塞克！</SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt" XML:LANG="EN-US">6</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">一个哥们结婚，给他红包。哥们客气的说不用。</SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-INDENT: 7pt; mso-char-indent-count: .5"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">我说：那哪行，一年就一次，一定得拿着。</SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt" XML:LANG="EN-US">7</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">初中时分角色朗读《白毛女》</SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''"> 一男生（杨白劳）：扯了二斤红头绳，给我喜儿扎起来……</SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''"> 老师：又不是包木乃伊…</SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt" XML:LANG="EN-US">8</SPAN> <SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">去买糕点，本来想说“来两个黄梨派加一个蛋塔”，结果说成了“来两个黄鹂鸣蛋塔”</SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''"> 更郁闷的是店主竟然听懂了</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt" XML:LANG="EN-US">......</SPAN></P>
<P><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: ''; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA" XML:LANG="EN-US">9</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''; mso-bidi-font-family: ''; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">大学时我们班有个女生叫刘芸。一次，别的班的同学给她捎来一封信。信封上她的的“芸”字中下半部“云”上面一横，由于写得太潦草，横变成了点。结果那同学拿着信就在我们楼道里叫“刘芒，谁叫刘芒，有你一封信。”全楼道的人都跑出来看刘芒（流氓）了。</SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">结果那叫刘芸的女生就无奈地被叫了四年的流氓。</SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''"> </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt" XML:LANG="EN-US">10</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">曾经有一段时间家里闹耗子，我妈就买了耗子药来维护家庭安宁，但是一个耗子都没药倒。一天大老早的，我妈起床看了看门旮旯里的耗子药，自语“这药怎么没有人吃啊？</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt" XML:LANG="EN-US">~~~</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ''; mso-hansi-font-family: ''">”全家晕倒。。。</SPAN></P>
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