每日小笑话（英语连载）

JaneJian

　　Joke of Today
　　
　　Why Is He Howling
　　
　　Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth yet.
　　
　　Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!

JaneJian

　　Joke of Today
　　
　　Are you a normal person？
　　
　　During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director ...,"What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?"
　　
　　"Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."
　　
　　"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."
　　
　　"Noooooooo!" answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

JaneJian

　　How to get a seat by the fire.
　　
　　Mr. Brown came to an inn on a very cold day, and could get no room near the fire.
　　
　　He called to the hostler to fetch a peck of oysters, and give them to his horse.
　　
　　"Will your horse eat oysters?" said the hostler.
　　
　　"Try him, " said Mr. Brown.
　　
　　Immediately the people ran to see this wonder, and Mr. Brown who alone remained in the room, chose the best seat by the fire and made himself comfortable.

JaneJian

　　Joke of Today
　　
　　I want to know you.
　　
　　Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
　　
　　Woman: "It's in the phone book."
　　
　　Man: "But I don't know your name."
　　
　　Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

JaneJian

　　How to get a seat by the fire.
　　
　　Mr. Brown came to an inn on a very cold day, and could get no room near the fire.
　　
　　He called to the hostler to fetch a peck of oysters, and give them to his horse.
　　
　　"Will your horse eat oysters?" said the hostler.
　　
　　"Try him, " said Mr. Brown.
　　
　　Immediately the people ran to see this wonder, and Mr. Brown who alone remained in the room, chose the best seat by the fire and made himself comfortable.

JaneJian

　　Waste or Save?
　　
　　Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting time?
　　
　　Jack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven" I?

JaneJian

　　Workman：“Mr.Brown，I should like to ask for a small rise in my wages. I have just been married.”
　　
　　Employer：“Very sorry，my dear man， but I can't help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible.”

JaneJian

　　Does He Bite?
　　
　　Reggie:We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him?
　　
　　Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?
　　
　　Reggie: That's what I want to find out.

JaneJian

　　All Except the Music
　　
　　A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert.
　　
　　To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices.
　　
　　Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"
　　
　　"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."

JaneJian

Who's 50 Cents?

Jacky: I found 50 cents on the sidewalk in front of school.
　　
Tommy: I think it's mine. I ｄｒｏｐped 50 cents there today and couldn't find it.
　　
Jacky: But what I found was two quarters.

Tommy: Then I'm sure it's mine. It probably broke when it hit the sidewalk.